i still remembered every single thing that happened on the day i was hurt badly by that 'someone'. I am not going to reveal the person in details because it it is way too personal for me to say it out. unless you know me very well, u should be guessing who. i was too shocked to fight back at that moment because i still have that mindset that 'someone' is still a someone to me no matter how bad 'someone' is. feelings of anger, sad, and frustration all mixed up. all i did was to cry and cry and said the word repeatedly. i was really f'ked up, damn annoying i was just stunned by all the words that the someone said.. frens at work noticed the different in me, even my 'boss'. it was that bad until it made me not going home straight after my work.
soo bad until i even dared went to my besties place. til night... til dawn... til morning.... til afternoon... this im gonna say that i really felt great and happy to the max when im wif ma fren. made me laugh, and forget about my problems. relax... seriously had loads of fun. way different compared to im being all alone.
back home den, again i faced that kinda situation where i kept thinking and depressed. worse still, that day was Hari Raya Haj. i dont even feel the mood of the festive... til now, the impact is still great, i could always start thinking and reflect all over again, everything... that made me a very trauma experience. actually, this was not the first time. ive been keeping quiet all tis while. and sometimes, seeing those teens outside, my frns, happily, with easy life, just made me feel jealoous